Hello, gentle readers….I’ve been working on the blog today, a little. I spent most of an hour figuring out how to change the copyright year (like anyone cares) from 2015 to 2019. I finally got it, though all the low-level grepping and editing I tried came to naught.
So what’s going on. Well, not much of nothing. Though I did have an interesting trip to Massachusetts recently. Kind of disturbed me more than I expected it would.
Otherwise, I’ve been prepping for the Summer Semester, and laying low. Sometimes, you’re riding the wave; sometimes the wave is riding you. For the past several months, I’ve been feeling the weight of the water on my back. So, I’m trying to claw my way to air…
I’ve got some stuff going on, and life ain’t over. But it’s been tough in many ways. I’m at the prime of my life, but somehow feel like something’s missing. I don’t know what, but something. I dunno….people oughtta be happy….and in some ways, I am…but in others, not so much. I don’t get it. I love my job, love my students…but there’s something that ought to be there — that just isn’t. I dunno.
Maybe I am really suffering from depression. We used to joke about it when I was in high school. “How you doin’?” “I’m depressed.” It was funny then….not so much now. I’m perfectly content sitting on the couch, playing on this computer; watching reruns on TV; occasionally playing the Xbox….don’t go outside, unless I have to. Is that depression? I don’t know. I’d just as soon be left alone…..maybe a part of my growing up alone; maybe more. I don’t know.
I’ve done therapy. And it’s helped. But at the end of the day, I’m alone. I used to revel in that. Now, I’m not so sure.